Monday, May 12, 2008

4 Steps: Meet New People

By Ross Bonander
Stress Management Specialist
When you meet new people, you are expanding your network. Whether you’re in a new town or neighborhood or you’re simply looking for new personal or professional connections, meeting new people can impact various areas of your life.

In can be difficult to meet new people, however. Sometimes, you might feel like you have to repress or modify your personality a bit, and stick your neck out there and expose yourself to some potentially uncomfortable situations. The effort tends to pay off, but oddly enough, the older we get, the more difficult it becomes to meet new people.

If you have moved to a new area or want to network for professional purposes, follow our steps to get out and meet new people.

step 1

Explore new social groupings

If you’re moving to a new city, your workplace will likely offer you at least one new social grouping. Meeting new people at work is fine and convenient; the drawback, however, is that these people are your colleagues, and in your haste to fit in or to have some semblance of a social life, you may form personal connections with people you don’t know that well. Eventually, some of them might turn out to be different than you thought they were. You may regret making those personal connections because, of course, you will see these people every day at work. So, take that type of social grouping with a grain of salt.

If you want to meet new people, you are better off getting into some outside social circles -- ones that have regular get-togethers. Adult sports leagues are almost unbeatable in this respect; they don’t take themselves too seriously, they play once a week or so, and usually involve a broad range of people. Don’t go looking for the basic softball league either, as different areas have their own local flavors. An alternative example is the Austin Sports and Social Club (AustinSCC.com) in Austin, Texas, whose sports include dodgeball, kickball and wiffleball. If that homepage with women drinking in bikinis doesn’t inspire you to explore a new social grouping, we’re not sure what will.

step 2

Pull conversation from the setting

Getting involved doesn’t merely mean signing up or showing up, it also means chatting it up. We’ve discussed starting a conversation before; use those steps to open a conversation with someone on a topic that relates to whatever it is that brought you together in the first place. If you're on a soccer team, you can ask if anyone else has been following the Premier League (provided you actually have been, as nothing turns people off quicker than a phony approach).

The idea is to meet new people by finding points of conversation from your environment. This approach offers plenty of natural topics that won’t seem forced. After all, you have a better chance of talking baseball among softball players than you do of finding someone else on the team to talk about paranormal investigations.

These 2 final steps will ensure you meet new people

step 3

Propose a post-activity

Seeing if anyone on the team or in the band (or in whatever other group you’ve joined) is interested in grabbing a beer afterward is also a good way to meet new people. Generally, all it takes is someone to propose the idea. The night of the week may impact your odds of success a bit, but the effort shows you’re interested in getting to know these people a little better.

Your post-activity doesn’t have to be beers either; if you’ve been sitting all night, a more active plan might fly with your peers, like 10 frames of bowling. Your best bet is to avoid suggesting anything that can impede conversation, like a movie or a loud club, and your suggestion stands an even better chance at being well-received if it doesn’t require too much time or money.

step 4

Secure a future plan

The last step to meet new people requires very little effort; it could be as simple as saying "We should do beers again next week,” something that initiates a regular social activity with others, or at least shows others your interest in doing so.

Sticking your neck out like this won’t always work out, and casual plans have a way of falling through, but the goal is to meet new people and develop a new social circle. Establishing a future plan like this at least allows people to see you as an open, social person, even if it couldn’t be further from the truth and you’re extraordinarily shy. People respond to willingness and genuine efforts, so even if this plan doesn’t quite come to fruition, it can lead to future invites and a variety of other opportunities.

Resources:
www.austinssc.com

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